Soy Mexicana...

I am a first generation Mexican-American. Born in Texas and raised in the Midwest. My parents spoke only Spanish in the home. It was a very traditional home down to the the macho patriarch ruling with an iron fist. That was our home. My mom catered to my dad's every need like a good Mexican wife was expected to do.

Yet I always knew that I would never be that traditional wife that my culture expected me to become. I knew that I felt very strongly that I wanted to have the right to be something other than the doting housewife. I rebelled against the expectations that were thrusts upon me without my consent. I was the black sheep of my family for this very reason. Small price to pay in my book, for freedom of expression and freedom of choices.

So one might say that I am a Mexican woman making very American choices for myself. My choices in music and entertainment are very Americanized. I love hip hop. I am hooked on reality t.v. and I don't wait hand and foot on my husband. I don't make fresh tortillas, and have no compunction about preparing a sandwhich for him if he asks for something to eat.

So, being that I am so Americanized, it always comes as a surprise the amount of emotion that I feel whenever I hear live Mariachi music being played. I get teary eyed and my chest swells with pride. It is at that moment that I realize regardless of how I have chosen to live my life. No matter how much I have been influenced by the American culture, I am deep down still a full blooded proud Mexicana!!

Hearing that music helps me to remember my parents and all that they have taught me about my culture. It helps me to reconnect with who I am, where I'm from and the people that brought me into this world and have raised me. It's a beautiful feeling and it's one that I cherish.