My Very First Blog

Hello everyone, this is my very first blog and I'm alittle unsure of what I should be writing about. I guess I should maybe start out by introducing myself and giving a quick background of my life up until now. I was raised in a very traditional Mexican family, the youngest of six children. I am the product of an abusive alcoholic father and a submissive, docile mother. I have experienced much pain and betrayal and have somehow been able to come out of it all with more humanity and compassion than one would expect.
I married for the first time at the tender age of 15 and was divorced by the time I was 18. This marriage was a means to escape my abusive life at home, victimized again and again, with verbal and emotional abuse by my father. As I stated earlier, I was divorced from this man by the age of 18, escaping that abusive relationship on Good Friday. How appropriate that my escape fell on that day! It wasn't a good Friday...it was an Awesome Friday, for that is the day that I escaped with my young daughter and the first time that I took active measures to ensure my happiness and survival.
I left my hometown with my daughter and flew to Houston, Texas. There I lived with my sister until moving eventually to San Antonio to live with my mom's brother and his family. Eventually my husband from back home found me and I realized that the time had come for me to return home and take care of the divorce. Something I had been putting off, not because I had mixed feelings about following through with it, but simply because I was trying to run away from that reality all together.
Soon after returning to my hometown, I began the process of divorcing him, and started dating the man that would become my second husband. I married him, again as a means to escape my abusive father. You see, in my culture the only respectable way for a female to leave her fathers home is by marrying. It was not acceptable for me to be single and living on my own. So, I saw marriage once again as a means to escape from my father's house.
This marriage also ended in divorce after 3 daughters. Although this marriage was a huge improvement over my first marriage, as in my husband did not verbally or physically abuse me, he did neglect me. Never showing love or affection, something I craved due to the lack of affection from my father growing up.
I then immediately began dating my current husband, before the divorce was final. He was all of 22 and I was 27 when we started dating. He decided to give me a chance even though I had some baggage. The main baggage being a second failed marriage that had not had the loose ends neatly tied up yet. Not to mention the fact that I had four daughters, and yet both he and his family welcomed us into their family with open arms. I felt so secure with him, at least in the beginning.
Now given this information about me one might conclude certain things about me and the person that I am. But I feel that I am more than what one would expect. I am smart, funny, loving and I consider myself a unique individual that has benefitted from all of my life experiences. All the good and all the bad. Although I believe there has been more bad than good, the good has definitely outweighed all the bad. I am proud of who I have become, and now in my early 40's, I am feeling alittle like I'm in the middle of a mid-life crisis. Feeling for the first time in a long time that I'm not sure which path my life should take from here on out. Thirsting for change, craving the next stage in my life, and yet not knowing what that next step will be. I invite you to be a part of that journey as I try to figure out what life has in store for me next.